How Not Feeling Good Enough About Yourself Can Lead To Depression.
More often than not, a lot of high achieving career professionals struggle with depression. They are the “strong” friends everyone knows that will always be there for you.
They expect themselves to perform all the time, and show up even when they aren't up to it because this is what everyone expects of them even from a young age, and they don’t know any other way. They may have grown up with parents that had super high expectations of them and didn't get the chance to make mistakes and learn from them like most children do. They may have felt the need to do everything right and made to be an example for others to follow.
All eyes were on them. Their parents bragged about them to other parents and told other kids to be just like them. This put so much pressure on them to always be performing to be their best. There is nothing wrong with encouraging a child to be their best, but this level of expectation to "always" be your best puts pressure on a young child internalizing that they need to be/act a certain way to get recognition. They start to crave attention, and equate getting love, affection, and recognition with only doing well, and also because they don’t want to lose the attention and affection of their parents. This child grows up to become an overachieving adult who does not know when to stop even when they have done their best.
This person thinks there is nothing that is good enough for them because they can always be doing more, so they often feel restless and don't know to relax, or re-center themselves, and always feeling overwhelmed and stressed out and always having something to do because being busy indicates success. You can find this person often blaming themselves for not doing more, a guilt that ignites depression, and the circle continues.
This adult needs and craves external validation because it lets them know they are doing good up to other people’s standards. This is when they feel worthy and good enough.
This adult is also afraid to venture out and try new things because of fear of not having certainty of what will happen, and will either do nothing, or keep feeling unhappy and stuck in their current situation, be it relationship, a career, and just life.
This adult feels the need to constantly wear a mask, and feels like they are always putting on a show for others because it is important to them how others see them.
This person struggles to ask for help and thinks they can do it all alone because they think asking for help is a sign of weakness, or that others will judge them and devalue their competence.
Overachievers are usually goal getters because so much value of who they think they are is tied into their accomplishments, but they are hurting inside.
They are usually overwhelmed and stressed out, and feel alone in managing their emotions. This is what leads to bouts of depression that they can't seem to have an understanding of and continue to suffer in silence..
It almost feels like they are living two lives; one is upholding the image of how they think others view them, and the other is the person they think they are, usually the image of themselves they do not like because "it doesn't meet society standards" of what good enough is...and are hyper-sensitive to feedback and view it as criticism or an attack.
They are anxious all the time, and on high alert for any slight indication of someone talking about them because the narrative of how others see them is very important to them, but upholding that image is extremely exhausting for them at times and deep down they just want to be free to not care as much about what others think of them.
People who are struggling with depression and feelings of not feeling good enough about themselves have trouble sleeping at night, struggle to prioritize their needs, dread the day, feel stressed out and overwhelmed and exhausted often with lack of motivation and focus.
What a person who is in this state can do is seek professional help to work through getting relief from depression, discover their confidence to feel in control.
The process would require a thorough assessment of where they are and where they want to be and getting support to getting there.
You don't have to keep struggling and suffering in silence.